Ballad of Senior DevLast modified 2022/09/14 11:14
February song, it’s called “Ballad of Senior Dev”
It’s about being a good senior developer. This was recorded over the past couple of days during the criminal invasion of Ukraine. Today I attended a anti-war demonstration in Berlin where 100,000 people gathered in support of Ukraine.
The Russian Embassy
Russia invaded Ukraine
two days later
I invested a short amount of time over two evenings writing the lyrics, the following weekend I then recorded an initial version of the song (version 1), a very poor Nick-Cave style ballad, it was out of time and not very great. I resolved to record a metal version of it.
On Saturday, I spent 4 hours recording a first “metal” (version 2). Usually I find that as much as I hate the thing I’m recording, the more I work on it the more I can make it something I “like”. Listening to “version 2” now I’m pretty sure it was doomed. So I then started version 3, it took the remainder of Saturday and then Sunday morning before and after the anti-war demonstration.
Comparing it to Lamb of God mixes I tried to turn up the kick drum and make it “click”. For the vocals I tried mitigating the poor acoustics in the room by putting a sheet over my head. I think that did improve the quality, but not hugely, and it made reading the lyrics and performing repeated takes tiresome, so I abandoned that and accepted the reverb.
I actually googled “meatal song structure” after recording and failing with version 2, and decided on something simple with a verse, chorus and bridge.
The final version here seems very loud, louder and more distorted than the final in mix in Ardour.
For drums: I used the AVL drumkit plugin (the Black Pearl Kit) for version 2 (version 1 had no drums) but I switched back to DrumGizmo (used on my “testing” song) for the 3rd version. It seems to sound better.
No new musical equipment since the last recording. I actually used both the shitty MIDI keyboard and DAW controller extensively this time round. The usefulness of the MIDI controller was improved by getting the DAW latency down to about 4ms which probably helped with being able to play realtime “drums” (previously the latency was 12ms).
The following are the raw, nonsense, lyrics, not all of them used:
Deprecation Hysteria 50 packages engineered to perfection Sepearated boundaries, dependecy injection Domain separation, infrastructure isolation Value object and entity deferentiation DTOs at the edge providing integration You know nothing about my implementation My pure tests have no mutations Everything works without hestiations My pure tests have no mutations Everything works without hestiations I'm a senior dev, I need no consultations I have no need for your observations It's so meaningless, my work is pure There are no side effects There are no defects It works exactly as it says on the box I designed that box I don't care about business requirements You couldn't design it better than this Stop questioning my work It is as I made it Your ideas are not better than mine Stop questioning me Yes, this class has 50 methods And that's what it needs I put them there because they are necessary There was not another way I break my rules to be practical I'm not a hypocrite, I'm a senior dev So listen to me, I can teach you alot Just do what I say and not as I do Why won't you heed my rules? I'm more senior than you It says so in my job contract, look I've made it you see, I'm a senior dev I'm not toxic I'm a senior dev I earn more money than you look: 200,000 euros per year You cannot understand It took more than 5 years To get where I am today So much pain and suffering They can't teach this in university I make progress by failing I'm a senior dev My path is known By the smoking ruins of projects That lie in my wake Don't look behind This time will be different I know what I'm doing It's so lonely out here (he's a senior dev) Nobody understands me (he's a senior dev) I'm beyond all of you (he's a senior dev) You're all stupid (he's a senior dev) So so stupid